That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
