Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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