Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
