I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
