He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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