Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
