Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
