He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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