I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
