I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize