I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Randomize
