I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
