well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize