Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Randomize
