If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
