I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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