I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
did i walk over a car last night?
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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