Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize