I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
