FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
