I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Two words: blizzard sex
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
