so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
