Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
