if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
