I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
even my farts smell like vagina
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
