Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
