it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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