At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
You're so nebulous sometimes
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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