i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
