we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
