Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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