i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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