Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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