i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
false alarm. still invincible.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
