love makes seman taste better
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
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