I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize