I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize