Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Randomize
