You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
