Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
