YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
