what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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