Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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