Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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