Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
