this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
