Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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