she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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