happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
