Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
