that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
