Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Randomize
