just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
PANTIES FOUND
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