my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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