well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
