i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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