I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
