Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize