remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
