Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize