What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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