What did we do last night that was yellow?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
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