yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
