"it" just moved
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Randomize