dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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