Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
did i just pee glitter
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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