come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Randomize
