It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize