His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
