my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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