none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize