who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
