i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
