I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
