i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
