1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
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