$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
